OK, Ill let you get to the funny in just a second, but first, we believe that it is beyond Jay Inslee's power to close private business, furthermore without approval from Congress a state cannot suspend Second Amendment Rights. Haynes and Sons Guns will remain available and open by appointment only for as long as we can. We have hand sanitizer and common sense, so we are already a step ahead of this corrupt government. PLEASE do not call us, please only TEXT if you need to (509)475-8125. If you have guns pending we are doing our best to get them to you as quickly as possible, we will not stop unless forced. Keep your head on a swivel, the time is coming where you just may need those rights.
Jason Haynes and Family
Texas Chili Cook-Off
It helps to visualize the whole the thing as you read it.
These are notes from an inexperienced chili taster named FRANK, who was
visiting Texas from New Jersey ...
"Recently I was lucky enough to be the 10,000th attendee at the State
Fair in Texas and was asked to fill in to be a judge at a chili
Apparently the original Judge #3 called in sick at the last moment, and
I happened to be standing there when the call came in. I was assured by
the other two judges (Native Texans) that it would be a fun event and a
true taste of Texas hospitality. They assured me that the chili wouldn't
be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer
during the tasting, so I accepted. Here are the scorecards from the event."
*****Chili # 1: Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
JUDGE ONE: A little too heavy on tomato. Amusing kick.
JUDGE TWO: Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
FRANK: Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried
paint from your driveway with it. Took me two beers to put the flames
out. Hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
*****Chili # 2: Arthur's Afterburner Chili
JUDGE ONE: Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight Jalapeno tang.
JUDGE TWO: Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
FRANK: Keep this out of reach of children! I'm not sure what I am
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who
wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to walkie-talkie
in 3 extra beers when they saw the look on my face.
*****Chili # 3: Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
JUDGE ONE: Excellent firehouse chili! Great kick. Needs more beans.
JUDGE TWO: A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of red peppers.
FRANK: Call the EPA, I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like
have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Barmaid
pounded me on the back; now my backbone is in the front part of my
chest. I'm getting shit-faced.
*****Chili # 4: Bubba's Black Magic
JUDGE ONE: Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
JUDGE TWO: Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or
other mild foods, not much of a chili.
FRANK: I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to
taste it. Sally, the bar maid, was standing behind me with fresh
refills; that 300 lb. bitch is starting to look HOT, just like this
nuclear-waste I'm eating.
*****Chili # 5: Linda's Legal Lip Remover
JUDGE ONE: Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding
considerable kick. Very impressive.
JUDGE TWO: Chili using shredded beef; could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
FRANK: My ears are ringing, and I can no longer focus my eyes. I
farted and four people behind me burst into flames. The contestant
seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain
damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly
on it from a pitcher. It really pisses me off that the other judges
asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks!
*****Chili # 6: Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
JUDGE ONE: Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of
spice and peppers.
JUDGE TWO: The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic.
FRANK: My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that
slut Sally. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone!
******Chili # 7: Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
JUDGE ONE: A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
JUDGE TWO: Ho Hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. I should note that I am worried about
Judge Number 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing
FRANK: You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a damn thing. I've lost the sight in one eye, and the
world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with
chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of
shit to match my damn shirt. At least during the autopsy they'll know
killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it,
I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through
the 4 inch hole in my stomach.
*****Chili # 8: Helen's Mount Saint Chili
JUDGE ONE: A perfect ending... this is a nice blend chili, safe for
all, not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
JUDGE TWO: This final entry is a good, balanced chili, neither mild nor
hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge Number 3 passed
out, fell and pulled the chili pot on top of himself.
Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor Yank.
FRANK: --------------(editor's note: Judge #3 was unable to report)
God Bless the President,
Long live the Republic,
Haynes and Sons Guns
'When tyranny becomes law, rebellion becomes duty,'' to Thomas Jefferson
Haynes and Sons Guns was awarded a Google Award for Excellence for being one of the top performing Veteran Owned Websites in it's category.
10/19/19 RTF2- Rough Textured Feel Glocks AKA Fish Gill Glocks.
Click the button and it will take you to a free training, takes about 10 minutes, then you can print out your certificate valid for 5 years for the purchase of Semi Automatic Rifles. It is FREE!!!
One of our best programs has been our Layaway program. We offer Layaway on all of our in stock guns with just 20% down, Text for further details.
We accept offers and trades, and on occasion will purchase your guns outright. Please remember when trading we try not to sell at retail, so we can't give you a wholesale deal and offer you retail on your trade, we will generally offer approximately 25-30% under retail.
We ALWAYS accept Silver, Gold, Palladium, and Platinum in bar, coin, or bullion form at spot. We will on occasion take gold jewelry on trade, but it will generally be at melt or scrap value.
Due to i1639 Haynes and Sons Guns will no longer be selling, for the most part, AR15's. We will be selling upper and lower receivers, and if you decide to buy a combo for a discount and later assemble the two, that is between you and the Lord. But as far as the State is concerned that will be only a Federal NICS check with no waiting period, no extra fee's, no needed class. The ATF and NICS have agreed that WA residents will be able to purchase lower receivers for the next year until Washington state is able to make provisions for the transfer. Please respect our wishes to no longer sell this deadly and evil weapon, and only to sell harmless receivers. Thank you for your support.
We hold the values of family and service to our nation very high. We are a Veteran owned company, and family run. You will frequently see Jason (Dad) Mike (Son) Becca (Daughter) Isaac (Son) and Jeanette (Wife) selling, Mike and Jason building guns, and Jeanette and Becca running the behind the scenes books and finances. We began this business to assist with Jeanette in college, and now that she has graduated, it goes to pay Mike, Nick, Becca, and Isaac's tuition.
We come from a long line of Veterans, First Responders, and Police. We celebrate community service. All Military- active or veteran, all police, all fire, and all first responders including ER and Crisis Workers will receive 5% off and $10 transfers. Thank you for your Service.
NOW LOOKING FOR GLOCK STUFF!!!
We are looking for older Glock stuff like magazines, boxes/cases, manuals, loaders, and anything Glock. Mostly looking for preban or Gen 1 stuff but you never know. If you have some older Glock stuff shoot us a pic or make an appointment today. TEXT (509)475-8125.
NOW BUYING GLOCKS!!!
We buy collectible Glocks and regular old Glocks. Text us today and get an idea of what price range you may be able to get on trade for your gun. We are always looking for Gen 1 17's, 19's, 17L's and 17LP or 17LC models, we will offer you the best we can for Gen 1 models especially the Gen 1 19, if you have one we will pay you a premium in cash on it! We will buy cases and manuals and magazines from the 80's as well. We can describe these over the phone or text to make sure you have the right ones. A few of the models we are looking for are RTF2C Fish Gill models, of any model, these would be a compensated model with curved rear serrations. We are always looking for RTF2 Fish Gill models, as well as any "C" or compensated models, Gen 2 and up with preference given to Gen 2's. We are interested on any 10th, 20th, or 25th Anniversary models. We are interested in any of the Cutaway models, with preference given to Gen 1's and 2's. We are always looking for Gen 1 and 2 "P" or "C" models especially those in 17L or 24C, but we will also take interest in any 17L or 24 you may have. We also would be interested in the Model 21SF with the Ambi mag release and Picatinny Rail. Also interested in any model RTF1. Any may be interested in any special edition models such as Olympic Security etc. Thank you for taking a look, if you have a Glock and want to sell it and see what we will offer you, please don't hesitate to text (509)475-8125. We aren't buying normal Glocks for new prices, but we will try to offer fair trade in value, we aren't particularly fond of .40's but will take them in on occasion. We generally will not buy a glock with any internal modification or stippling, exceptions can be made of course, for instance we love factory ZEV guns...
Thanks for looking.
We love our customers, so feel free to text literally ANY time! I can't stress this enough, PLEASE text, don't waste your time by calling, if it can be handled in a text please do so.
410 South Fiske Street, Spokane, Washington 99202, United States
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TEXT (509)475-8125 for your Appoinment today!